lost all mood by today's morning call.. even though i had already seen it coming.. but still.. im really really lost now..

so anyway thursday night ytd. usual water polo la. coach didn come and every1 didn come or left dam early. in de end only me jj and 3 seniors left til bout 8.30 self training. actually like playing la lol. it was fun,learning how to shoot.(: so aft training stayed in de showers and ty and his fren dam funny. keep singing national day song and random songs to irritate ty. like idiots like tat.:/

so left and walked to koptiam.. eat.. walked la. word of de day: manwhore. all de way home dunno how many times we said tat. dumbness ttm. and as usual making all sorts of irritating sounds to annoy de crap out of ech other. obviously i lose,jj's dam annoying.:/ and jj said smth dam funny ytd. "you noe right,everytime we ask alden treat us smth,he tell us to wear skirt. i tink he secretly WANT to see us in skirts leh. he's homo.:/" owned rofl. _|_ u alden!:D

so well went busstop take bus.. homed..

today no sch so well i can afford to sleep late and wake up late. and my morning call was actually a call from ms lock. immediately i noe is smth bad le.. seems tat my SWAP really failed. unlike in sec sch,poly u cant afford to fail even 1 subject. it's a real killer. ms lock told me i hav until wednesday to present hash,add,delete,modify and list for my project. 2nd chance eh.. but nt exactly enough time. and actually my INKS is on a potential F as well. which means in de worst case scenerio,i'll hav to retake a 4cu INKS and a 8cu SWAP next sem tgt with an extra CDS tat nobody needs to take cos i got an F for sociology in sem 1.2. really.. im lost,dunno wat to do.

i every though of going into army 1st before goin back to poly.. but im in sem 2.2 already.. i would hav waste 1 and a half yr,and wait for army to take me in,and aft i come out wait for poly intake AGAIN. and if really so suay i failed to get into a poly,i hav to go to an ITE,which by then i would be like.. almost mid 20s. graduate from poly liao late 20s almost 30. wtf man wtf..

wat bout changing course? tot of it too.. but then,if i wanna change course i hav to do it FAST. make up my mind quick(and talk to my parents and careperson) and decide wat course i wan to go and appeal. so tat i can join in de october intake with de ITE students. but then cedric pointed out smth which i kinda overlooked. my army thing.. i differed it using my current course,and de date tat this course ends. wat if i transfer course sia.-.- i dun wanna be studying like in year2 halfway and suddenly,i need to go into army. WTF?

private schooling is nt an option either.. my parents wouldn be able to afford it.. so wat now? wat now? i really dunno wat to do le..because u made me believe in myself,when nobody else can help.